This week I started a Good Morning Girls Bible study. We are reading through the book Ministry of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. I have been following Sally Clarkson's ministry since 2000 when we first began homeschooling. Sally is real and speaks truth. Since one of my favorite people in the whole wide world is leading the group I had to join.
This week one of the verses we covered was 2 Timothy 1:5. As we were posting our daily check-ins this is where my thoughts went:
As a mom who recently who sent her oldest child "into the world" last fall when he left for college- at a state university vs a Christian college no less *gasp* (sorry little tired of the comments I get about this), I will say it has been scary, humbling, discouraging and a blessing to see what "stuck" with my son after being under my constant care and instruction for 18 years. My greatest fear (and keeping it real here)- That I would somehow screw him up from all my shortcomings. Reality- He is an imperfect sinner who has struggles but honestly strives daily to improve his walk with the Lord. I want to knock him upside the head every time I talk to him on the phone about school. SERIOUSLY- I am not sure where he got his work ethic and study habits, but it wasn't from me. Then we get to talking about his fraternity *gasp*. Sorry couldn't resist ;) It is a Christian fraternity called BYX. This fraternity has been one of the best things he has ever gotten involved with. Last semester he shared his testimony TWENTY THREE TIMES. I haven't given my testimony that many times in 43 years. He still listens to sermons from our pastor online each and every week. Why? Because he has yet to find in 24 weeks of attending church in Denton a church home that has teachings like our church home.
So what does this have to do with the verse? It is humbling to see how the legacy you leave plays out when your children become adults. I mean I made mistakes- daily! I have been WAY less than the perfect example of faith. Since he has left I felt like I failed him as he struggles in several areas and I blame myself for these short comings. But I also am encouraged by his tenacity to pursue his faith, his desire to run the race. He has guys in his fraternity listening to sermons from our church because they had never been exposed to that type of teaching. This semester he was asked to lead one of the weekly accountability groups.
Let me wrap this up before I put you all to sleep. A page (day) in our story may be bad, with no evidence of faith based on our actions. We live in a fallen world. Do our children see us striving to further our walk with the Lord? These are the chapters in our story. Does the end of a chapter (year, five years, decade) show growth? I don't think one bad day destroys our children's faith. Not even sure a bad stretch does. Our children see more about our faith than we realize. It is the overall picture that makes the impact. Do our children see evidence of fruit? This is where the impact is made. This is where the seed is planted, but let me also say this, it is not our job to "save our children". It is our job to plant the seed and cultivate. How am I tending that garden? Am I allowing weeds to overtake it? As a Christian this is something I constantly have to be aware of in my walk. I want to do everything I can to be an example of faith to my children and an example to them about how when I stumble and struggle I have a forgiving Father that will use those struggles to help me grow in my faith. Boy, I sure hope all of that makes sense.
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